2014

15 things I learnt in 2014 

1. People will not always be the person you want so desperately for them to be. You'll be fine without them.  

2. Finding contempt and solitude within yourself is one of the most important things in the world. 

3. The art of 'putting things into perspective' will save you from restless days and nights. 

4. Treat your body well.  

5. Everything that you feel and do is valid. Don't waste time trying to explain yourself to people who are too ignorant to understand. 

6. Speak now. 

7. The things that make you different are often the same things that make up the beauty of your inner being. 

8. Anger, bitterness and resentment hold more of an effect on you than anyone else. 

9. 'No' is a complete sentence. 

10. Do not confuse your negative thoughts with actuality. 

11. Be at peace with the people who let you down or let you go. 

12. Exercise your creativity. 

13. Music can and will save your life. 

14. Be thankful, always. 






15. One year can do a lot to a person. 



here is to a beautiful 2015. <3 



Emma 

Accessing self compassion

"When we are self critical, our mind responds as if to a threat, heightening our anxiety. If we can activate self compassion instead, our mind experiences feelings of greater safety." 

How can I be more self compassionate? 

• Understand that you are a human being, you are beautifully flawed and will make mistakes. And that is okay. 

• Reward yourself! Even the smallest achievements matter, so reward yourself and be proud. 

• Embrace change. Nothing can  ever be truly set in stone. Relationships, circumstances and feelings all change. If you are changing, embrace and adapt to that change. Don't beat yourself up for not being your past self.  

• Realize that everyone's personal journey is different. Stop comparing yourself to others, their story will always be written differently to your own. Just because you are the same age, gender or personality type does not mean that you have to be in the same position as them mentally, academically, or socially. 

• Tell yourself that your emotions are valid! No matter how ridiculous or stupid they feel. You're feel angry? Okay. You're feeling hurt by someone? Okay. You're feeling taken for granted? Okay. All those emotions are valid and you deserve to be treated well by the people in your life. If you feel something, say it! Feel it! And then find a way to move forward. 

These are just a few things I tell myself whenever I get down. It's so easy to self blame, why not try accessing self compassion instead? 

Emma 

Forms of illogical thinking

People underestimate how important our thought processes can be. To me, gaining effective control of your mind is one the most important mental skills in life.

illogical thinking (also known as distorted thinking or irrational thinking) is something that I have personally always dealt with. 

I have always been an immediate negative or anxious thinker. Before doing my research and talking to other people, I had no idea my thoughts processes were even distorted. My thought patterns just always seemed to work that way. I adopted illogical thoughts as a normality. Now that I am able to identify and eliminate illogical thoughts, the way I feel is changing so much. And For the better. 

Below I will list some forms of illogical thinking.


Black and white thinking 
"If this event/occurrence/mistake happens it must means that this event/occurrence/mistake will also take place"
You see everything as black and white and either or. One bad thing must lead to an even worse conclusion later on. It is very easy to believe that one event is the beginning and ending of everything, particularly when anxious or nervous in a heated moment. I am now starting to realize that life is way more complex than this. We can turn things around every day. 

Assuming a thought 
"I must be doing something wrong, she doesn't like me" 
This is a very simple and obvious illogical thought, but strangely is something I tend to do a lot.Assuming a thought means that you somehow convince yourself that you know what somebody else is thinking. A common assumption would be convincing yourself that somebody has a negative opinion of you without any actual confirmation from the person.

Unnecessary personalization 
"It's all me, me, me!" 
Self blame. We all do it. Give yourself a break, even if you did make a mistake. 
This pattern of thought also relates to anxiety and shyness. when you unnecessarily personalize yourself you think that everything you do is going to gain some kind of reaction from the people around you. For example you think everyone is staring at you, laughing at you or talking about you whenever you are in a social setting.

Disqualifying the positive
"Everything in my life is negative!" 
This form of illogical thinking can happen when you feel down or sad about a situation.
You disqualify any positive aspects of your life and accept the negative as the reality. This can be very hard frame of mind to be in. It is so important to have the ability to identify the positive and hopeful parts of your life no matter how small they may be. 

Fortune Telling 
"Tomorrow will go so badly" 
Fortune telling occurs when you predict that something up and coming will go badly, and you then go onto confirm this negative thought in your head. This is very dangerous and can lead to unnecessary days of anxious feelings and discomfort.
We will never be able to know what tomorrow holds, so what not try to be hopeful about a situation? Making the effort to remain hopeful and positive about a situation can have massive effects on your mind and body. 




Above are just a few examples of distorted thinking, all of these relate to me personally. There are
many other forms of distorted thinking which lead to worrying and anxiety, and I think it is important
that we understand what they are, so that we help ourselves and help others.

It's very easy to fall into these patterns of thinking when you already feel nervous, anxious or down - I challenge you to next time try and take on these negative thoughts! Identify them for what they are, find logical reasoning within yourself, take a deep breath and fight!


Emma. 



references/helpful websites
http://sourcesofinsight.com/10-distorted-thinking-patterns/
http://access.ewu.edu/caps/selfhelp/stressmanage/distortthink

An introduction

This blog will be a documentation of my journey to a clearer mind and a calmer spirit. 

It has come to my attention recently that as a human being I let my negative thoughts and feelings consume me until I have no real grasp on reality. On this blog I will documenting and discussing steps that I am taking to feel less over whelmed, anxious and generally gain a better spirit and well being. 

Negative thinking, anxiety, low moods and self esteem are all very serious issues that need to be addressed more. When you go through any of these things it is very easy to be feel isolated and alone, I hope that maybe this blog can help someone who may need it. 





Emma.